Jun 5th 2010 07:24 am Men and Sex – Why Some Relationships Don’t Last

Although there are many contributing factors why relationships go through a breakup, when it came to men the top reason seems to be sex, according to a five year study called The Couples Project. 

Why do 65% of marriages not last?

Why do the majority of relationships never make it to the marriage stage?

Why is the occurrence of a so prevalent?

The study included over 500 men and focused on in committed relationships.  The objective was not to influence behavior, such as counseling does but rather to learn what was the motivation for the behavior men were displaying that was causing them in many instances to be cheating men.

The study covered topics such as

What attracts you and how important is it to you? 

Is it important enough to cause you to become a cheating man? 

Does your partner really know your sexual needs? 

Do you feel you can honestly discuss the topic of sex in detail with your partner?

And most important, the study included open ended questions such as; what is the reference point you wish your partner had concerning men and sex that would allow you to sincerely connect on this matter.  In other words, what do you wish your partner already understood concerning sex?

Some of the findings were surprising

   89% of men felt their partner did not really know them when it came to sexuality. 

   When a man initiated a break up, he usually disguised the reason into something else if it had to do with sex. 

Think of it, men terminate relationships because they felt their needs weren’t met, AND they felt they cannot even honestly discuss the topic with their partner AND they disguised the reason for the breakup, probably leaving their partner confused.  Certainly a very bad combinatiuon of factors for a relationship.

And worse, this cycle seems to be learned and repeated over and over.

The study also evaluated the accuracy of some broadly held beliefs including

The concept of a female needing the perfect body to keep a man attracted.

Or, if she does not have that ever elusive perfect body, she needs to vigilantly watch and keep her man’s options closed so he won’t wander.   

Surprisingly, the Couples Project concluded that from a man’s point of view, both of these assumptions were false.   

More information on: What Men Wont Tell Women About Sex- and Relationships can be viewed at www.CouplesProject.org.

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